Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
