i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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