either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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