I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
