Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
