What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
