Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
3 2 1 whiskey
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
