You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
