I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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