Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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