I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
