can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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