do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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