Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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