I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
