She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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