the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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