this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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