Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
