she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
