i just had sex bonerless
i just google imaged poop.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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