I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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