Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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