I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
