i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
