So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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