i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
