Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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