He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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