didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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