Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
