It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
