Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
