to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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