Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
