my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
