Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
