before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
