DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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