Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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