It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
