I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
