saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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