You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
