you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
