What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
