I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
