Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
