I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
