Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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